Ficlet: Does Twice A Ritual Make? (Veronica POV) PG

Title: Does Twice A Ritual Make?
Author: Trivia_Maven
Character: Veronica
Word Count: 489
Rating: PG
Summary: Veronica knows that the truth has changed her, but she isn't quite sure just how.
Spoilers/Warnings: Through "Leave it to Beaver"
Disclaimers: Veronica Mars is the property of Rob Thomas and UPN

Let me know what you think.


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Veronica sat in the reception area waiting for her appointment and wondered if doing something twice made it a ritual. Focusing on the semantic and philosophical differences between ritual and habit seemed easier than focusing on anything else.

Lately the abstract had been so much more comforting than the concrete. So for now, she was content to just go with it. Well content was not the right word really, more too bogged down by inertia.

“Veronica Mars? I’m ready for you now, why don’t you come on back?”

Veronica took a seat in the chair. The stylist turned her to face the mirror. “So what are we going to do today?”

The first time Lilly died (finding out who had killed her really was like having her die a second time) she had chopped off her hair. She wasn’t quite sure if she was getting the order right this time; it was kind of hard to remember back to those days. Had she become that hard and brittle girl with the screw-you attitude and then cut off her hair? Or had it been the other way around? She can’t be sure. It didn’t necessarily matter now either. Veronica just knew she was a different person now that the truth had come out. Hadn’t quite figured out who that new person was, but she had to do something. So like an actor stepping into a role, she had decided to change the outside to see if that would inform the changes on the inside. It was her ritual (or habit, or merely only a second occurrence – maybe the new Veronica would spend her time pondering these imponderables).

“I want something different.”

“Are we talking highlights, layers or what?”

“I don’t care what you do. Shave it, dye it, highlight it, whatever. It just has to be different.”

“Oo-kay then.”

The stylist sent her off to the shampoo girl. Probably thought she was dealing with a crazy girl. Maybe she was. She just didn’t know anymore. Everything was different, not just her. So many people had been affected by her search for the truth. The ripples were still spreading. The people around her were changing as a result of everything and she needed to change too. Whether it was a change for the better or for the worse didn’t matter, as long as she wasn’t standing still. The new Veronica would deal with the consequences.

Back in the stylist’s chair, she resolutely kept her eyes closed while the stylist went to town. She tuned out the sounds and chemical smells of the salon. Finally the stylist put down the hairdryer and spritzed something fruity smelling into her hair. She turned the chair to face the mirror.

“Okay, you can open your eyes now.”

Slowly Veronica opened her eyes and looked at herself in the mirror. She let out the breath that she had been holding.

“So this is the new me.”

END


Author's Note: Back in the days of Felicity, I totally understood why she cut her hair at the beginning of Season 2. Anytime there has been a major change in my life (moving, getting a new job, breaking up etc) I too have done something with my hair. While Veronica isn't like my fickle Felicity, I still think she understands that how you look on the outside can affect the way you feel on the inside.